Project Athena Fundraiser


Gentle readers, I would love your help!

In the grand semi/sporadic tradition that I started back in 2002 when I walked in my first of three Breast Cancer 3-day events, I am back on the walking trail again in 2016.

(No, I will not and have not stopped running, but I did take a much needed rest from the longer runs after my 3rd 1/2 marathon in a 5 months time span earlier this year!)

First, here’s the fundraising page – I plan to raise $3,000 to participate as a Supportive Goddess in this event. It is *only* 50 miles over 2 days (hahahahaha…yeah…”only”…) and the route sounds just breathtaking Oceanside Harbor to San Diego Harbor so if you know that coastal trail, you know it is pretty stunning! The Athena who I am supporting is my friend Angela who has courageously bounced back from several back surgeries after being thrown from a horse a few years ago. She is a shining example of someone who is moving forward from surviving to thriving and I am honored to be able to walk with her :)



My Favorite Podcasts


My favorite form of entertainment either while I run, walk or work has been podcasts. I’m *starting* to get into audio books too – finally subscribed to Audible for that, but for everyday feeding my brain/soul this list really teaches me and makes me laugh.

Typical of me, it is a blend of sports, liberal politics, some light introspection/inspiration, and comedy. I also really LOVED the Serial series of podcasts so a good story telling genre is also a favorite.

I’d love to hear suggestions for more so please share!

(all links go to their iTunes page)


Edge of Sports with Dave Zirin – where sports and politics collide (a slice of heaven for me!)


The Katie Speak Show – amazing interviews already with only a handful of shows so far – I have done a fan girl “squee” a couple of times when I heard who would be on. Fantastic commentary and wonderful music as a bonus that sticks in my head all day (in a good way!)

Bonus, here is her awesome website with ALL her media links including her writing which is insightful, vulnerable, clear, concise and often funny as hell. I adore her banner message:

Speak and change the world


WTF with Marc Maron  (best interviewer ever IMHO – go listen to his talk with President Obama…check was with Barack Obama – it’s pretty fantastic)


Best of the Left – when you cannot listen to or watch *every* great media outlet that leans to the left, this is the solution.


Radio Headspace – from THE place to learn Mindful Meditation – the podcast covers a huge range of inspirational and truly amazing exercises and interviews on every topic you can imagine. The most recent download included a fantastic talk with two comedians who have emerged as voices of authenticity on mental illness and the stigma around it.


Intersection with Jamil Smith – An editor at The New Republic, Jamil does a fantastic job exploring exactly what his show is called – the intersections of race, gender and myriad other ways we identify ourselves. He’s a former producer of the Melissa Harris Perry show (Nerdland!) and does a great job putting together panelists who cover a board spectrum of societies and viewpoints. It’s a relative new show but one that has had me nodding my head and silently saying “thank you for teaching me that!” as I listen. Actually, ALL of these shows do that at some point or another which is why I love them!


Conversations with Alanis Morissette – What is it with all the Orange in these podcast badges? This one is a leap of faith listing. I just subscribed today when I found out about it and have not yet listened to an episode, BUT – it’s Alanis! For those who *don’t* know me, I have often said that at certain times it felt like Alanis was writing songs from thoughts that were rolling around in MY brain so I suspect that I might be able to connect/relate to just about anything she does :)


This Week In Blackness Radio – I saved my favorite for last. The link is to their Prime show, but I adore all of the shows in the TWiB family.  They are the ones who got me into listening to podcasts and now, as you can see, I am hooked!

Where I’ve Been


I feel like I should be putting up a “Hello World” post as I have been away from this space for so long.

I’m writing in here now to summarize a week that has been rather mind blowing which is also a culmination of the past 18 months or so which required my full attention in more ways than I could imagine, but which meant that blogging was no longer an option.

So here’s the things I’ve been doing really since about the summer of 2013 which was the beginning of Alex’s senior year – a deep dive into ME and sorting out what it is I want to do with myself as an Empty Nester (aka: the rest of my adult life):

  • yoga
  • mindful meditation
  • chi gong
  • visualizations
  • affirmations
  • journal writing – some deep dives (over on my Torrey Pines Reflections site at one point + nightly gratitude and/or moments of fun + joy
  • working in a group with a coach who specializes primarily in mindful weight loss, but who has become a friend and life coach for me
  • re-opening myself to spirituality – still quite secure in my non-belief in any one God who must be worshiped, but completely open to the unexplained energies of the universe. It’s a faith in the connectivity of all people that thrives on sharing love.
  • Decided to treat a current moderately annoying health issue naturally – no hormones or surgery for 6 months. Herbal solutions and acupuncture instead. I just want to get to menopause as non invasive as possible!
  • stopped being paid to write
  • started a bookkeeping business
  • both boys moved out (youngest off to college so intermittently temporary, but still…)
  • bought tap shoes, an instructional dvd and a portable dance floor and started practicing again
  • invited a roommate to move in – no rent – just because I believe in her, in what she does, and because she was in a really shitty place that was preventing her from reaching her goals. One year plan. She’ll be on her feet again next summer.
  • pulled away so many layers of decades long frustration & insecurity around my ability to have and keep peer related friends
  • completely shifted my mindset about wealth – no longer working from a position of scarcity, but instead from a position of abundance. I now know I can generate it and I am learning to trust myself on how best to use it to reach my dreams
  • For the first time ever this week, I was asked what my Big Dream is – then I was told to cross that out and dream bigger!
  • My Big Dream is to stop working at my day job when I turn 60. That’s nine years from now folks!
  • I’ve learned that I CAN make that happen
  • I’ve *finally* identified when I know to be my purpose in life (coming shortly)
  • Through all of this I’ve learned that my partner is the exactly who I need him to be and I am amazed and grateful beyond belief that NONE of these rather big shifts in my mindset have intimidated him in any way. HE recently commented on how much he loves what I’ve done.
  • I am no longer Crabby Lucy who would rather *not* deal with people.
  • I’ve *loved* meeting each new small business client.
  • I believe in the possibilities – all of them! I started this second business with the idea to have 3-5 clients and maybe make ab extra $500/mo.I have 11 right now. I should have 14 by the end of the month. That’s $2,200/mo right now. Mind=blown! I feel like I still have room to add those other 3 (in contacts with them currently) and one more for sure.
  • I’ve read more self-help/spiritual books than even in my life and I soak them UP!
  • I’ve learned to love myself. I mean it. Yeah, there are still times when one of those nagging Inner Mean Girl (great book!) voices pops up, but I’ve gotten pretty good and re-directing those.
  • I’m working now on truly hearing and listening to my intuition. I do need to trust it more, and I will!

So – my purpose: In my mind one of the reasons that I was often perplexed at why I so often flailed and failed at making friends is because I knew in my HEART that I am the best damn friend you would ever want. Really. During one of my journal writing sessions I just completely took ownership of that. NOTHING makes me happier or fills me with more joy than seeing the people who I love achieve their dreams. Cheering them on brings chills up my spine and tears to my eyes every single time. The same joy I felt rooting for my sons translates over to my friends at the same level. So I will do *whatever* I can to help them cross their own personal finish line. If THEY are committed, then I will look at what they want and figure out how I can help – small or big it doesn’t matter. It takes a village and I am IN IT with everyone with all my heart. It’s why I have the roommate that I do. And now I understand completely that it’s why I am loving every aspect of the bookkeeping business. It’s why I have always loved my day job at the non-profit university (our product is educated people – totally on board with that mission!) I’m supposed to be using my talents in stewarding wealth for entrepreneurs so that their flow of wealth has a clear path so that they can reach their Big Dreams. I work WITH them, not FOR them and they know I am there to lift them up. I tell their story with numbers :) I was already kind of articulating that in my Getting To Know You phone calls or face to face meetings, but now I absolutely get the whole picture. The bottom line is that both my Material Wealth AND my Spiritual wealth are filled in this process. When I lift YOU up, I am lifting myself up as well. I cannot do any of this alone – so why should you?

NOT Acceptable


I was listening to This Week In Blackness Prime yesterday as they discussed/reacted to the despicable shooting in Charleston that happened this week. The phone lines were open and at one point a caller from Georgia spoke about living in the south where “an acceptable amount of racism” is just always in existence.

Now, I get that she meant that people IN the south just accept it. Not that racism itself is ever acceptable in her mind. The problem is, I have heard this line before and it ALWAYS makes my hair stand on end.

NO, there is NEVER an ACCEPTABLE level of racism.

There is also never an acceptable level of homophobia, trans-phobia, islamophobia, antisemitism, misogyny, or any kind of ‘phobia’ or ‘ism’ that centers around the demonizing and “othering” of humans!

When it came up on the podcast, the caller also responded when asked what does she DO when she hears the random ‘n’ word and racist jokes (which is what she considers the culturally embedded level of accepted racism) and she said she would be exhausted if she pushed back on every single one.

Yeah, well, I imagine it is even more exhausting for the person who IS in the category being attacked. For how do they know if the person telling the joke or using the derogatory term is “just” your casual everyday racist or could turn into someone who would kill them?

I immediately flashed back to around the year 2006 or 2007. I was at a party with a bunch of the families who we knew thanks to my son’s participation in youth sports. One of the men who I had known since our kids were in kindergarten and who I really respected and enjoyed being around used the “f” word. No, not fuck – you know me, I will type that one – he used the one to put down gays. I remember it like it was yesterday. In my head I know I groaned, then I checked myself for maybe 2 seconds, and then…I told him I didn’t think he should use that word any more than he would use the ‘n’ word. I swear that time stopped and it was just SO quiet as he looked at me after this very mild chastising and I knew I was risking my friendship with him by doing that….but….to his credit he said “I’m sorry. You are right, I should back away from that term.” and we went right on talking easily (and still do to this day). PHEW, but…the point is…I HAD to say something because it wasn’t acceptable at all.

My story was easy though. I don’t live in the south or in a place where there is an underlining level of “acceptable” phobias and isms. I can stand here and say that I will *always* push back against those words but I am also fairly confident I wont ever be around them that much.

Words matter. They really do. The rise in the last 20 years of combative, loud mouthed radio and TV programs disguised as “news” has eroded our ability to be empathetic allies. It’s more “acceptable” to be a hyper critical bully putting down everyone with whom he disagrees than it is to be kind, measured, pragmatic and empathetic particularly in media and politics.

This country celebrates “anyone can make it here” reputation. We love to talk about how inclusive we are. Freedom! Independence! Democracy! Be who you want to be, worship how you want to worship! Yet we say there is an “acceptable” level of racism in certain areas?

I say that I agree with the people who say it is time to “take our country back!” Only thing is, I want to take it back from THEM – the bullies and white supremacists and people who carry around deep seeded phobias of OTHER PEOPLE! I want to take the country back and actually turn it INTO the place it was meant to be. No fear of differences, all inclusive and equal opportunity for all.

Now THAT would be acceptable.

First Words


The other day my oldest asked me to remind him what his first word was. This comes up from time to time because both boys have kind of fun and unusual versions of this milestone.

Wait – a story about the boys when they were babies that I haven’t told here yet? Oh, let’s fix THAT!

Oldest was a real oddity – he didn’t have a first word, he had a first SENTENCE. And that’s why it probably seared itself into my memory banks so deeply. I don’t remember the exact timing of this as far as how old he was. But I do know for sure that his dad and I were walking up the stairwell in the condo complex we lived in at the time. I was carrying him and he was doing his usual chattering. Let me tell you that this kid YAMMERED. Once he found his voice at a few months old, he never, ever stopped using it! So I was rather accustomed to a babbling brook streaming out of his mouth when he was awake. But, just as we got to the landing outside the door of our unit, while his dad put the key in the door, Nick was quiet for enough time that it made an impact. Then he looked up at the ceiling in the stairwell, pointed up and said “See light?”

We both stopped because it was such a clear question to us! I looked up and then back at him and responded “What did you say buddy? See what?” and he said again, clear as a bell and with the proper questioning inflection “See light?!”

How cool is that?

Youngest is more unusual since he basically showed his sport loving stripes from the start. I know it had to be in the spring/summer of ’98  – he turned 2 in August 98. I had always been a huge Dodger fan growing up and a Mike Piazza fan specifically. (as soon as the Dodgers traded Piazza, I switched to full Padres loyalty and had been warming up to them for quite a bit before then. Piazza extended my Dodger fan time when he came up).

Anyway, I watched every Dodger game on TV that we could see in San Diego. And I had a routine. Piazza would come up to the plate and I would say “Let’s go Mi-KEY” with an emphasis on that last syllable. Alex had shown an interest in the games when they were on and was always around me while I watched. I’d narrate a bit to him, trying to simplify my cheering and my own version of color commentary. WHEN he would get a hit, especially a home run, I would let out a “Way to go Mi-KEY!” and get Alex to clap along with me.

Sure enough, one of those days (I do remember it was a day game so must have been a Sunday afternoon game), after I had let loose with my customary cheer of encouragement when Piazza got to the batters box, I hear a little voice say “Mi-KEY!”

I looked at Alex wide eyed and then went up closer to the TV (old ass console thing from somewhere back in the early 1970s…ok, maybe late 1970s since it WAS color..) and I pointed to the Piazza on the screen and said “Alex, who is this?”


Oh yeah….brainwashing complete :)

So – any other good stories out there of kid’s first words? I’d love to hear them!

As a bonus for reading all the way through, here’s a fresh picture of said sports obsessed child from his rugby game this past weekend:

April 4_NMTech

Your unique voice – share it!


We take a pause from monthly photo albums for a little bit of actual, thoughtful writing.

Over the last year I’ve been filling my newly released time (kid away at college, no more volunteering to support everything he did) with some self improvement. I figured after 30 straight years of parenting, it was time to focus a bit of my adult brain on me :)

So I joined a coaching group and started reading some self help books and listening to inspirational pod casts and just generally having fun going back to doing what I had been doing in high school which is just sort of wander through the spirituality/occult/mystic/self help book section at the local store and just browse and skim interesting topics. Only in 2015 it means Kindle books and pod casts and Hay House radio. Yes, Louise Hay who I consider the Queen Goddess of this genre is still going strong and has a fulls scale media empire housed right here in north San Diego. I re-read her book and love using her site to find affirmations that resonate with me.

Anyhow – the point of all this is to express something I’ve noticed while listening to folks call in to these shows or reading some of their sites:

If you have an idea for a book or some sort of coaching you think will help people – DO IT! Write the book – launch the business. Color readings, medium work, psychic readings, mindset coaching, fitness, food – whatever the topic – EXPRESS YOURSELF!

The biggest resistance I hear is people saying “Yeah, but it’s all been SAID already on this topic! Those books have been written! There are already 1000 coaches doing this work!”


Here’s why: Let’s say there are five experts in a room. They are all specialists on the SAME topic. All have documented results, sold the same number of books, have the same number of glowing reviews for their books and their coaching.

You walk in the room. YOU actually don’t really NEED to receive information on this topic (or so you think) Let’s say they are food issue experts and you have always had perfect weight without any struggles.You get 5 minutes with each one. They are all *essentially* saying the same thing. Despite your general lack of NEED (up front), one of them, for *whatever* reason will say THEIR version of their topic in a way that makes you say “Hey! That’s cool! I never looked at choosing food in that way! I’m going to try that out!”

Someone else walks into the room after you. Hears the same five experts speak for 5 minutes. He/She also ends up hearing something that resonates with them. But, it’s from a DIFFERENT expert.

See, here’s the thing. We are ALL unique snowflakes. Really – I know that is often said sarcastically in reference to supremely coddled children, BUT, it is a true statement. That means that no one perceives the world in exactly the same way as you. So when you are consuming self help or spiritual messages for instance, you will respond in your unique way to different voices.

As such – YOUR voice – being as unique as it IS – will resonate with a certain group of people no matter how many times before the same topic has been addressed. You bring your life experience and individual way of expressing what you’ve learned in a way that will be a break through for someone.

It might NOT be for a mass audience – or sell a million books – BUT if what matters to YOU and your soul is that you DO help people no matter how many, then you absolutely need to go for it!

Hiking at Torrey Pines


A happy coincidence of timing allowed me to leave work early last Friday and join the Spring Break college kid on an afternoon hike through our favorite trails at Torrey Pines. We’ve done this many times over the years when he was growing up and he and I have also both taken his grandma from Sweden out here when she visits. So, since she was here the week he was home visiting, we all revisited the beautiful spot. Alex’s (girl)friend joined us and it was a wonderful way to spend his last day in town.

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