Category Archives: Rambling Rants

Raging at the rage (yes, I get the irony)


What do people get out of rage tweeting/status updates?

I’ve recently been somewhat befuddled by folks who watch something on TV (say, a particular channel or program) and then spend time posting anger filled tweets directed at said TV show. Now, I know there are “media” watchers whose job it is to blog or comment on the program’s quality (or lack thereof). I am not talking about that. In fact, the couple of people I follow who are in that field tend to tweet about them other than in a comical manner. They save their rage/real critiques for their jobs.

No, I am talking about someone like me – an accountant by day with no connection to the industry – spending my time and energy watching something that I clearly do not like and then spewing all those angry thoughts out onto the internet (either via twitter or facebook).

Why?

I read those thoughts and immediately pass judgment – not on the program you are criticizing – no, I pass judgment on YOU for being dumb. Or, perhaps for being a deliberate drama addict. You know you don’t like it, so DON’T WATCH. Or, maybe rage-watching is cathartic in some way as was pointed out to me once by a rather trusted and otherwise reasonable friend. OK, I can maybe get that – but the same friend also agreed that SHARING the rage is a mystery. So you choose to wallow in it – why post about it every single time?

Once in a while, maybe, but every single day?

Yeah, not only are you clearly ENJOYING the drama, but making other people enraged is also a thrill for you so – goodbye. In keeping with my own rule of NO DRAMA, I had to start removing people with that habit from my social networks.

However, in a somewhat similar vein, people who spend status updates whining ABOUT what other people post is also tiring. We get it. You don’t like ________ (sports/tv show/talking head/singer etc).

This particularly happens on Sundays as there seem to be equal amounts of love for certain Sunday night TV shows (Downtown Abbey comes to mind, but Mad Men/Dexter…there’s lots on Sunday night I think)…or you really really don’t like pointyball…err….football.

So then, you know what to expect on Sundays, right? Don’t log onto twitter and get yourself all irritated at people tweeting on topics you don’t happen to like. You are free to not like them! I don’t happen to watch any of those TV shows I just listed, but I know lots of my friends do and that they LOVE them. It does not offend/anger/irritate me in any way that they wish to express and share their love of those shows with others as they watch. In fact, that’s kind of the POINT of social media. Just because I personally do not enjoy that topic does not mean I should then spend equal amounts of time raining on their fun.

And now you are thinking – hey – first you are critical of people who rage tweet about TV, now you are telling people NOT to rage at people who tweet about TV. Double standard!

It’s subtle, but not really. In the first group, the hate TV watchers are sharing just that – hate & rage. In the second example, people are having FUN and then you get the haters who rage AT the fun. In both cases what I am lamenting is the people who are spreading anger and irritation on a regular basis.

I get that there is never going to be 100% peace love and understanding. But there should be a balance.

If you don’t like something, don’t watch. Scroll past tweets of people talking & enjoying a topic you don’t happen to like. If those tweets are coming too fast & furious on some particular days, log off. It’s easy to turn the TV or twitter off and avoid the irritation, right? Read a book! Listen to a podcast or music that makes you laugh and smile.

Just don’t knowingly walk into a situation that you KNOW will make you mad and then scream at everyone else about it.

No whining and no gasbags!

Warning! This is your brain on Zyrtec!


Well, MY brain anyway ….

The ol’ barometric pressure took a nose dive last night and right on cue my sinuses filled with pressure.  Consequently I’ve been either excessively foggy headed and tired from the pressure itself or, the Zyrtec I take to relieve it somewhat. Take your pick – either way, I am not at my sharpest but with the meds, at least it doesn’t hurt :-)

Here are some random ramblings of my brain in this condition. I should probably apologize ahead of time to the many many people I may will offend or piss off.

Nah…..why start now?

**** There are Christmas lights on TWO houses around the corner from me! TWO! And not just put up because you hired one of those light hanging services to come do it just to get it over. I’ve seen those. They go up, but don’t turn them ON at least until after Thanksgiving. No, these two houses are LIT UP! ON November 17th!! Now, I am the Mrs Griswold of the block and I love exploding in lights more than anyone, but NEVER…NEVER…before Turkey Day! Heck, with Thanksgiving being so early this year I may not even hang my outdoor lights immediately.

Maybe. Don’t hold me to that :-)

**** This one wont offend anyone – last night was the final Friday Night Lights for us this year. Since 16 is a junior and was hurt most of the season I am OK with it, but also very sad for the seniors who played their last game together. Apparently they were all crying on the field after. Especially big #78. Even though he is the only one guaranteed to be playing Division 1 football in college, it was very hard for him to say goodbye to the coaches and players who basically taught him the game. He hadn’t played youth football like so many others because he was too big so his only football experience is at the high school. It’s no wonder he had the hardest time seeing that end. I’ll be sad to see many of the parents move on. This senior class was a great group of families and kids. We’ll have a finally banquet for the kids in early December to really wrap up the season and I think extra tissues will be needed all around!

**** Speaking of parents…so…I live in an area that may have or may not have a reputation of potentially being another location for The Real Housewives. Plenty of excess money and time goes around in certain parts. Not the WHOLE area mind you, but there are some very very ritzy pockets and if their kids go to public school, the end up where we are. I’ve now been to dozens of baseball, football and girls volleyball games over the last two years and I noticed something about the volleyball crowd recently.

Some of them need to lose the phone numbers to their plastic surgeons. Really. I mean it. There are way too many Dolly Parton and Cher look-a-likes in the stands at the gym! I have no clue why there appears to be a higher percentage per capita of such examples in that particular crowd vs the other sports but…yeah..it’s kinds scary to see them up close.

**** I should follow up after the rant earlier about the busy body/bullying co-worker to report that – as I suspected would happen – about an hour or so after I barked at her, she came by in her classic passive-aggressive manner and struck up a totally unrelated conversation but then managed to “slip in” her version of an apology. Having known her my whole adult life, I know her patterns all too well and she didn’t disappoint. Ah well….some people just never grow up or learn real empathy. I just wish those types would be quieter :-)

And now I need to get to bed and hope that I wake up with a bit clearer head tomorrow. We have a trail run planned and I want to enjoy it like I enjoyed the run on Wednesday.

 

 

Push Presents and our Madison Avenue driven culture of expectation (re-post)


Listening to a morning radio show on the way to work I heard a completely new term. “Push Present” Now, I know I fall out of the range of your typical female target audience. The things that I watch on TV or the magazines & blogs I read are WAY out of the norm for most women. But I do pay attention to conversations on Facebook and of course I have the August moms who usually end up talking about things here and there which helps me pick up things I might otherwise miss amongst the more generic girl talk. And yet this one had bypassed me. Turns out I did know the concept, just not by this title. A Push Present is the gift a man gives to a woman after the birth of their child. A reward for pushing the baby out :-) Kinda cute and it’s a lovely sentiment and I do know some women who have received these. SOME. Not all by a long shot and it was not something most of us talked about when we were pregnant.

What bothered me about the conversation this morning was that the women on the show – both in their early 30s – spoke of it as if it was EXPECTED. About as expected as a birthday or anniversary gift. For some reason, this rubbed me the wrong way entirely. I am sure it has something to do with my overall distaste for the way Madison Avenue has commercialized just about every holiday ever. Even the ones that were never *supposed* to have big presents or parties have become extravagant affairs if you follow advertising trends and popular TV/Magazine trends. I have often lamented the trend towards children *expecting* a big birthday party every single year. Mini golf, laser tag, chuck-e-cheese, bowling, etc etc. The parties get bigger and more expensive every year and it all seems like a grand competition to top one another. Little Johnny is only turning 2, but you have to invite 50 people to a pool party with jumpies and clowns and a Dj and and….!! Johnny won’t remember ANY OF THIS!!

It’s interesting because there is an overall sense that we can’t stand what is referred to as the “Entitlement attitude” of current generations. The phrase is thrown around in political arguments and in discussions on society as a whole. Typically it is used to vilify liberals expecting government handouts (sorry, had to stray a bit into politics for a second there). However, I think this whole notion is something that can be more properly laid at the feet of Madison Avenue. Anyone who consumes any amount of media is bombarded with the idea that the way you show off your success (and you must!) is by buying the shiniest, most expensive things. The way you show your love is by giving the shiniest most expensive things. Forget the country, citizens in general are more in debt than ever thanks to this constant messaging that you must have Tumi luggage, a shiny Lexus, a 2 carat ring, Jimmy Choo shoes and on and on. Self worth is wrapped up in it. Kids are steeped in it early with the birthday parties and accompanying pile of gifts. It’s not poor people who feel entitled to help; it is everyone, from all economic backgrounds that learned the world will shower you with all the pretty things that make you feel loved if you just whip out that credit card.

What would I consider a proper Push Present? Just be there. Be a dad. Stick around. Take them to doctor’s appointments and soccer practice & be there to watch their dance recitals. Make dinner and clean up after their barf. Be a partner in discipline and homework struggles and illnesses. That diamond tennis bracelet won’t do those things. Save that money. Start the college fund with it. That is what I *expect* from you. Birthday parties? How about we go back to marking the milestone years only? Every culture has some variations of course, but gosh just hitting the ‘5s’ and ‘0s’ works for me. Or, if you really love celebrating and having an excuse to be with a crowd of friends, then make it a No Gift party most of the time. Family will take care of that. Your 50 neighborhood and school friends? Nah – you just want the fun of having them there to play with you but they don’t all have to bring gifts. You want to reduce the entitlement culture? Then reduce those expectations.

UPDATE #1: Ask 16 about his birthday as an example. Scroll down and see pics from his BBQ. He *loved* his day! Did he get some gifts? Sure, from family, but not from his peers. We told them to just show up. I bought them tickets to the movie and provided transportation there and back. All 16 wanted was to gather enough money to buy himself a new headset for his Xbox and he got exactly that. How many 16 year old boys do you all know who would be perfectly with that? Be honest!

Crazy how 2 mins of a radio show elicited that whole rant eh :-)

Oh yeah! The guy who was the topic of the radio show? The Push Present he gave to his wife? A week at a FAT CAMP?!! Oh, he REALLY missed the concept. He’s in the Forever Dog House for sure.

UPDATE #2: Re-posting this because it has received a little more attention again along with a comment trying to explain the origination of the Push Present concept. Also a recommendation for a new website selling push presents that properly encapsulate the sentiment or something like that.  Endless love and protection of the mother and child? Yeah, sweet, but no. You know how to show that? I told you up above. Just be there.  Everything else is gravy and is simply a material item to be sold that continues on the culture of consumption. Push Presents are not mandatory, they are extra niceties if you have the money – maybe. But I will always resist it becoming some kind of expectation. 

Dear Mother Nature


So it begins eh? The annual Springtime Weekend Only rainstorms.

Charming.

You know what this is forcing me to do today?

Get in my weekend run today. After work. Or, more specifically, I am going to run home from work (thank god that’s mostly downhill this time). So please, keep that rain away until much later tonight OK?

Also, my friends and I are not too thrilled about that Sunday forecast. You see, it’s the first triathlon weekend of the season and we really don’t want to be racing and cheering on racers in the rain. And the cold. I am pretty sure the cold will piss us off the most.

Also, I have friends coming into town over the next two weeks. You know, spring break and all that. Could you please try to not rain all over them?

Thanks,

Withholding the love pending overall wet & cold, me.

Dear Daylight Savings Time


What the heck did I ever do to you?

How can one little hour have so much impact?

Por ejemplo – last Sunday I joined my running buddies for a 90 min trail run at San Elijo Lagoon. We had to get started before 8am because they have follow up the run with a swim class that starts at 9:45. I ended up covering just over 7 miles in the 90mins and ended up with a couple of angry toes due to some poor pedicure habits (my own fail, nothing to do with the always awesome shoes & socks). Anyhow, I followed up the run last week by completing the following, all before noon:

  • filled up car with gas
  • had a protein shake when I got home
  • showered & tended to toes
  • started a load of laundry
  • went to dry cleaner and dropped off comforter & picked up clothes
  • finished weekly grocery shopping
  • emptied dishwasher from load I started before my run
  • watched early morning news shows that were on the DVR

Not a bad morning’s work, right?

So today we had the same run planned. Other than filling the car up with gas & emptying the dishwasher (did those last night), I needed to do pretty much the same things afterwards.

So how did it go today after Springing Forward one measly hour?

  • Home from run around 9:30
  • Made protein drink
  • Check toes (all good this week)
  • Turned on DVR to watch news shows while sipping shake
  • Turned off DVR and went to sleep
  • Woke up and turned DVR back on and finished watching shows
  • got in shower at 12:30

See a difference there?

One hour ends up screwing up and entire day.

And it wasn’t just me. No one in this house moved until noon.

Someone asked on twitter what we were all going to do with that extra hour of daylight we inherited today. I’ll tell what I’m doing. Catching up from the apparent FOUR HOURS I lost this morning!

Not sure that extra hour is worth it right now. Especially since I still feel foggy brained and hungover.

Seriously DST – what the hell did I do to you?

No love, Me.

What if Tim Tebow wasn’t a Christian?


I can’t be the only one who has posed this question, right? But I just need to get this out there as he on the verge of potentially yet another freaky upset against the often equally reviled Tom Brady and the Patriots in the playoffs this weekend.

UPDATED: And so readers don’t think I am anti-Tebow personally – not at all! This is, much like the media hype about the Mommy Wars I ranted about earlier – all a reflection on the media and the nation’s reaction to him. In fact, here is a lovely article by my most favorite and respected sports writer of all time on just what a good kid Tim is: http://espn.go.com/espn/story/_/id/7455943/believing-tim-tebow

People who are over-hyped (Paris Hilton, any Kardashain, The Beiber, Tom Brady, etc tec…) pretty much end up annoying everyone at some point. Doesn’t matter WHY they become famous, you just get sick of hearing their names and seeing their faces when they are at the height of their popularity.

So it was no surprise that the most HERALDED (hah!) player in recent NCAA football memory would have some of that hype carry over into his NFL career and that the sports media would be all over him if he had even a hint of success. Which he’s had this season. Big time.

Now, it just so happens that Mr Tebow is also, very very openly Christian. He tends to pray a lot on the sidelines. To the point where once he was elevated to starter on the Broncos, a tribute site to his religious bowing on bended knee sprang up with people in all walks of life “tebowing” – loosely defined as kneeling down to pray when everything /everyone else around you just continues to go about their business as if you are not there at all.

So, obviously, this is my question:

What if he wasn’t Christian?

What if he were Jewish?

Or Muslim?

Or Hindu?

Or (insert any other religion here?)

Because, guess what, sports figures do cross over into many other religious faiths. Or, none at all.

Or:

What if wasn’t a starting quarterback on an NFL team?

What if he was your co-worker bowing on his knee before every staff meeting?

What if he was your child’s youth league coach praying before every match?

What if he was (insert any other type of non-religious workplace/community volunteer setting here)?

I am ALL FOR religious freedoms. Freedom OF and freedom FROM in some cases.

So Tebow all around town all you want.

Know that no matter WHAT you believe – IF there IS a God, one thing I DO KNOW FOR SURE:

He doesn’t give a flying rats ass about sports so spare me your thanking God for your victories folks. There’s a team and fans on the other side of the field praying just as much as you.

Mostly though, I deeply deeply believe to my soul that this country would NOT be loving them so much Tebow if was bowing down on the ground facing Mecca at sundown.

Just guessin’

Spare me the mommy wars – please!


Ugh! Again with the Mommy Wars in the media? Ok, I suppose first we should blame whoever conducted this “controversial study”. I mean really,what’s the damn point? No, I wont look it up to link to it and give it more eyeballs. I find the premise of it insulting enough. Apparently the gist of THIS one is that WOHM moms are more satisfied overall and happier? Anderson Cooper decided to do a whole panel on his new daytime show on the topic inluding featuring a working mom who calls SAHM’s lazy. ((eyeroll))

May I just drop my opinion here that there is NO REDEEMING VALUE TO THIS TOPIC?

Why in bloody hell do people NEED to pigeonhole entire segments of society for no reason other than to make themselves feel better?

GROW UP!!

Here’s the real answer: You know who is happiest? The men and women who are living their lives to THEIR fullest potentials however THEY define that!!

For the sake of this argument let’s focus just on mom’s – but the same answer applies. I know some truly HAPPY and truly MISERABLE women who Stay at Home, Work from Home, and Work outside the Home. What makes them happy or miserable in their roles as moms is all about how happy or miserable they are as INDIVIDUALS on an everyday basis.

Because that is what this is at it’s core – an INDIVIDUAL PREFERENCE.

Let’s say that ALL THINGS ARE EQUAL. That every mom has the financial situation to choose. Every mom has a co-parent (let’s just all let out a huge groan right now about how this whole thing IMPLIES a HUSBAND vs a WIFE as a partner – how limiting!) who would support whichever choice she makes. Her kid(s) have no special health needs and schools and childcare  in the area are FABULOUS!

Given all that….I don’t need science…I know myself and many of my close friends. And I can tell you with 100% conviction that we would all choose different paths! Some of us would choose to work no matter what because that keeps us sane & balanced. Some of us would choose to stay at home because THAT keeps us sane and balanced. Some would choose to do one or the other for just a few years and then switch. Some would work part time during school hours only. Some would work from home. I mean – possibilities are endless when all external drivers are controlled, right? Then it becomes about internal desires. And some of us were born with a yearning to be at home with our kids and some of us were born with a passion for a particular career.

How about we all CHEER EACH OTHER ON and try to do our best to make sure we all have the opportunity to make those decisions for ourselves?

WHY are we compelled to pass judgment? Why must we push one group down in order to prop ourselves up? If you have guilt over your choice or your situation that is YOUR PROBLEM and you don’t get to alleviate that guilt by trying to make out that MY situation is somehow WORSE than yours (and vice versa of course).

Why the fuck do we need some group doing some study on this? What intrinsic value does it provide other than to make one group feel superior? It’s bloody stupid and divisive and a waste of time and money.

I cheer for my friends who find their dream jobs.

I ache for my friend who desperately wants to stay home with her baby, but can’t afford it.

I ache for friends who cannot have children at all.

I cheer friends who decide they don’t want kids.

I cheer friends who are having their sixth child.

I cheer for my friends who always knew they wanted to be married and having babies and staying home with them and who find exactly that.

I cheer or ache for friends no matter what the scenario according to what is THEIR HEARTS DESIRE. Not mine. Not anyone else. THEIRS.

I don’t LIMIT anyone by forcing them into a theoretical BOX.

I would appreciate it if the media, researchers, and everyone else would please do the same.

I suppose if you LIKE being depressed…..


I like to be a contrarian sometimes. Sometimes? Oh hush.

The following four things receive HIGH HIGH HIGH Critical Acclaim. Oprah’s Book Club! Grammys! Oscars!

However, I will advise you that unless you WANT to run into the kitchen and swallow a bottle of anti-depressants with that bottle of vodka and slip away into the night…well….then you’d be doing yourself a favor to avoid them.

I’m fairly convinced that even the happiest, most plucky, glass ALWAYS full among us would be in danger of deep depression after exposure to what I think are the most soul sucking pieces of literary, film & musical drivel to be foisted on our senses.

Behold! Your sure fire cures for a severe case of joy:

Sarah McLachlan

There is no denying that she has a very lovely voice. Soothing perhaps….IF she used it for good. But, she uses it for evil. Depressing, go to sleep forever evil. In fairness, I *have* seen her live. And yes, she is JUST as bad on stage. Lordy girl – can you please sing/write SOMETHING with some pep? You can celebrate love and life you know.

Tell me you haven’t had your TV on sorta on auto-pilot, heard the opening strains of “In The Arms of An Angel”, seen the images of animals wasting away and though “GAH! No! Not AGAIN!” and wanted to gouge your eyes out?

Yeah, I don’t care WHAT she sings now. Like Pavlov’s dog, the sound of her voice makes me immediately feel sick in the pit of my stomach and tears well up. Thank you, but NO!

It’s a little easier to avoids books than it is to avoid music since radio stations can assault you and, as pointed out, TV commercials can jump up and bite you – but…..there is something about a depressing book that really insults you. First off – you all probably picked this one up thanks to Oprah, right? I know I did. That first year that she did her book club, I didn’t read anything unless she had recommended it. I was doing OK until this one popped up. What in the hell is appealing about a book where literally everyone dies at the end including the only couple of characters you might have liked? Or, if they are not literally dead, they might as well be because the way the ending is written it is clear that those still breathing wish quite deeply that they weren’t? Who writes this thinking a reader wants to spend several nights immersed in this? Isn’t a book supposed to be a way of ESCAPING reality? And a book takes time and EFFORT to read. A song is a mere 3 minutes of hell. A movie is over in 2-3 hours. A book? That’s usually several days of a few hours here and there depending on how long and how fast you read.

Of course, it is my own problem that I almost NEVER stop reading a really bad book. I stubbornly plug away to the end hoping against all evidence that things will turn around.

Yes, I *was* smart enough NOT to the movie adaptation of this horrible mess.

However, I was NOT smart enough to remember how Oprah had burned me. Because years later when I inherited Jacqueline’s collection of novels which included a fair amount of Oprah Book Club selections, I got suckered again:

Holy hell in a hand basket! First you spend over 100 pages reading about how FABULOUS this family thinks they are…then it all goes downhill from there and one by one they are all exposed to be the shells of human beings that they are. No hope. No learning. No growing. Just mind numbing depravity & self destruction. Again – why the ever loving heck did I read this until the end? Ok, read is generous – I skimmed. But…ugh!

As often as I have marveled at how amazing it is that JK Rowling walked around with the Harry Potter stories in her head, wafting around in her over-sized imaginary glands until she could get them all out on paper – I feel deeply SORRY for authors who carry around tales like those two! I mean, really, how did THEY get through life with the ability to even crack a half-assed smile?

But then – we come – to THE biggest waste of time EVER – which won it’s industry’s highest possible honor (WHY WHY WHY?):

To quote Elaine from Seinfeld : “That movie SUCKS!”

Pretty much, yep.

So in conclusion – if you find out that someone plans on watching The English Patient after spending the day reading The House of Sand and Fog and listening to Sarah McLachlan CD’s…..just go ahead and call the suicide hotline on their behalf. They will thank you later.

 


As I alluded to in an earlier post, there have been um…”issues” with the plumbing in the ladies rooms in the basement. I use the term “ladies” quite loosely. Toilets left un-flushed, or not completely flushed, toilet paper rolls almost never replaced (seriously, go in there after 3:30 and you will inevitable see two empty rolls while the new ones sit either unopened, or worse, unwrapped and left ON THE FLOOR!). Apparently some also flushed things that I thought EVERY WOMAN ON THE PLANET knew not to flush, but, apparently NOT because that’s why we all got an email about it last week and had to endure red tide quality smells. Yeesh!

After all that – just to further prove that common sense is a lost art, today the bathroom sink is clogged. Why? Because someone keeps dumping coffee grounds in there. Why? Who knows? It’s not like there is an actual KITCHEN just a few yards down the hall with a real SINK with a GARBAGE DISPOSAL, or hey, how about those enormous TRASH CANS???

This is why we can’t have nice things.

No common sense – none!

Complaints, I have a few


  • Unfinished or poorly designed or broken websites. Really, it’s 2011 and if your online storefront is not your #1 priority then you are doing it wrong. I’m planning the upcoming August Moms gathering here next weekend and I spent yesterday surfing around restaurant websites and nothing irritated me more than trying to open a menu page and finding….nothing!  NEXT!
  • Facebook changes – no, I am not one of the multitudes screaming bloody murder about them. I adjust and adapt and block new things as needed, BUT, since a lot of people ARE bugged beyond belief about it, some of them are packing it in and moving to Google + – which means I have to maintain two accounts because I now have friends who I WANT to stay connected to who love/hate one or the other and refuse to dance with one or the other. ARGH! I blame Facebook since they were there first and if they hadn’t been so stupid with rolling out their updates which drove people away then I could just live the simple life in one place. I mean, why can’t Facebook just please all of the people all of the time eh? That’s not so hard, is it? ;->>
  • People who copy/paste those Facebook statuses daring you NOT to copy/paste the same one into yours. You know the ones, right? They insinuate that if you DON”T act like a lemming and show your support for the cause that EVERYONE MUST SUPPORT then puppies and babies will die (or something similarly dire) and then you will be the PARIAH OF THE UNIVERSE (or at least the social media world). Well, me = pariah because I REFUSE. I can come up with my own statuses thank you very much and no, I don’t need to declare my hatred for cancer because, well, why in the bloody hell would you think I SUPPORT it?
  • People who don’t respond to emails – personal or professional. So rude.
  • Children (like both of mine were/are) who think reading and doing homework is akin to a daily root canal. GAWD! I just don’t get it and I absolutely hate it that I have to pester and nag and cajole and then STILL see those farking red boxes where assignment grades should be! Do I really need to haggle through 3 more years of this?

All right, that should make it easier for me to get through the week – what’s bugging you?