Category Archives: Stuff n Fluff

A weekend in pictures


Friday night: after a week that was not necessarily as frazzling as last week, but included the extra special ingredient that was a Mon-Fri off and on (mostly on) hormonal series of head/shoulder/neck/sinus aches so…yeah…it sort of didn’t matter that I only had one football meeting to go to (which was actually quite good and productive)…all that dominate my sense of each day was how miserable I was. Grumpy and just working extra hard to keep my wits about it – which I did – but then I would be so so tired. Therefore, Friday night all I wanted to do was sit on the sofa and watch all the shows that had piled up on the DVR. And I did. From 6-11. Me, the cats and the remote.

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Saturday I woke up pain free and HAPPY! Oh yeah! I went to a boot camp and was thrilled to be able to do all the exercises with 100% effort. Then I had a meeting to learn about a new writing assignment for a local client, then I got home and wrote for Blogmutt to clear those off my agenda so I could write for the new client today. My goal was to write two posts, but I swear I was so amped up from feeling GOOD that I was able to knock out three and still have 30 minutes to spare! In a week when I would have been happy to sell 5 posts, instead I sold 7 ensuring another tank of gas will be funded by Blogmutt:

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When my posts sell next week, I’ll hit level 5 in points and earn a Linkedin badge – which is pretty cool because it means more exposure to my freelance writing availability and credentials.

The main event this weekend was a neighborhood pizza party at a house across the street. There, we hung out in a yard that is smaller than mine but 1000 times more functional! The owner put in a completely functional kitchen/grill and pizza oven in one corner and a gorgeous fireplace in the other. He picked up raw pizza dough from a local restaurant and let us choose our toppings. It was so much fun and so yummy! The collage below is from the party – disclaimer – the beer bottle was empty! Seriously :)

Pizza Party

I managed to pull myself away at a decent hour and still get up early enough to join Renee for a run out on the switchback trails again. My first time tackling those hills since my IT band has calmed down. I am thrilled to discover that not only could I do the run without issue, but now several hours later after some decent sofa time, it is still totally fine. Hopefully that means I can increase my mileage again…slowly!

View from the top out over the Santa Fe Valley:

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I hope your weekend refreshed you in the same way mine has.

Frazzled


I posted on my Facebook status today, just this one word: Frazzled.

My brain has had to be so ON the last 3 days – that I can feel the synapses burning from overuse. A football meeting directly after work on Monday followed by more work I had to complete from home that wasn’t done until 9:30pm. Yesterday was the first of 3 AP tests for 16. Of course all 3 are morning exams. So I went in to work for 3.5 hours in the morning after dropping him off, then picked him up, and we went home so that could work until his dentist appointment (didn’t want to drive back to work for just 2 hours). After the dentist I worked at home again until 6:30. Today was AP test #2. This time, I picked him up and brought him back to school and then came back to work. But of course the proctor for his exam messed things up and they didn’t get out until 12:35. They were supposed to be done before noon. When I got back to work, it was more mania until a little after 3:30. It’s just been a series of days with system problems, people making careless mistakes and things falling on my desk to cover gaps again.

None of this would be that difficult except for PEOPLE needing THINGS and with QUESTIONS and never having a moment of quiet to get anything DONE (dammit!). I can handle the tasks – I just need to be a Hermit for a day to get them all done properly. So it took 3 days and 2 evenings, but it’s done. And I’m frazzled.

So today I was happy that the rain had stopped, and I could take another walk. I mixed in a few photos from my house over the weekend when we had an amazing sunset. I loved the glow from the sky on the roses in the side yard.

Yes, that is a helipad in one of the photos. When I walk out of this building I head down the property to the helipad which is, of course, abandoned and not being used, but does make for a nice quiet place to walk around and take in the view across the freeway and listen to some birds. the towhee cousins were out and about quite a bit. Both brown and rufous sided. That blue roof building is some other business across a canyon from ours. No clue why it is such a bright blue, but there it is!

Anyway, here’s hoping that tonight is quiet without too many demands from the other occupants of the house and that I can just watch TV and stay offline. Thankfully there is a break in the AP schedule – the last one is next week so tomorrow is just a normal school day. No earlier than normal drop off or mid-day pick ups. Phew!

Walk #3

Unexpected connections, sunglasses and – chi?


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I knew Thursday would be packed.

Another department manager had resigned, and a replacement wouldn’t arrive until next week. That meant existing folks jumping in to fill the gap. For the month end close, my day helping out would fall heaviest that day.

I was prepared because I had cleared out my own tasks faster than usual and I made sure no one needed me for anything that evening in case I had to stay later.

The additional challenge to the day was not even, really, presented by the work itself.

It was the damn Health Fair!

First of all, I had it in my mind to make sure to bring the temp worker and my other full time female co-worker with me. (The male in my office was not interested).

The reason I did was because I had read a Happify task: Reach Out To A Potential Friend

Is there someone at work you’d like to befriend but don’t know how? Is there a neighbor who once said “I’d love to have you over for a drink, sometime!” but never followed through?

Now, I never take these tasks 100% literally – in fact, they all have an option for you to decide on your own how you want to approach it, but it’s the intention behind it that matters.

I wanted to reach out to the temp so she could enjoy the giveaways and presentations. She couldn’t win the raffle as someone not a full time employee, but she still might see something of interest to her and just be part of a social event to break up the day. The full time co-worker is a normally shy and quiet gal who I knew wanted to go but would also feel better if there were people with her.

Well, the other full time employee and I were over there for the full 90 minutes of the event! We had so much fun doing little things like trying out food, juice, lotions, getting a bone density reading, a BMI test and then….then..then! The one that blew us both away – the chi analysis.

We had watched them in the corner booth for a bit and already heard reports that the woman who did the reading was amazing. Her husband uses chi for pain removal, and he was also there. My co-worker has some cranky knees so she sat down for a session with him while I put our names in line for the reading. It took time because she was giving everyone at least 10 minutes at a time.

All I will say when it came to my turn is that I was astonished at how accurately she “read” me without asking me a thing! I stood in front of her for about 2-3 minutes. She was about 2 feet back from me, and she kind of bounced her hand in the air over portions of my body – mostly focusing on the torso and shoulders.  She took notes on an iPad, and when she was done I sat down, and THEN we talked.  Truthfully, she asked spot on questions, I did my best to answer succinctly because people were waiting in line – but just even her questions were so revealing that my head was in utter turmoil when I stood up.  Turmoil sounds bad, but it’s not really – there was just so much she uncovered so quickly I knew it would take time to process.  My co-worker felt the same way when she was done. Oh, and her knees felt much better, and they still do today!

We are both going to call them for a full 30 minute free session.

So, clearly I reached out and connected with my co-worker quite successfully. We were still talking about it again this morning, and it’s probably the most animated I’ve seen her since she started working here. I know I probably would not have stayed as long at the fair or perhaps not even done the chi session without her.

Oh – and we both won prizes! She won a free facial treatment, and I won a pair of pretty snazzy new sunglasses! Which is kind of funny since I had just left my old ones at my parent’s over Easter  which reminded me that those were cheap and scratched, and maybe I could treat myself to some new ones. Hmmm…maybe I gave off a chi vibe about that?

Anyway, I was extra grateful at the end of the day to have this additional task in my Happify track:

Body Scan Meditation:

Block out 10 minutes, lie down somewhere comfortable, and spend a minute focusing on your breathing.

Now, imagine you’re taking a scan of your whole body, starting with your feet and moving past your torso on up to your head.

This was absolutely perfect for me to do and I know the reason I had such a good night sleep despite working until 7 and having that turmoil in my mind is because I first talked to M about it and then did this task.

The bottom line is that these tasks make me approach things so much differently each day.  I certainly would not have made the connections that I did on Thursday which would have been a huge loss.

Happify really *does* happify your daily life



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A few weeks ago I shared that, on a whim, I had responded to an email invite and joined this new site called Happify. Yes, there was some skepticism and I wasn’t sure how long I would stick with it. But I have honestly found that it has ever so gently changed a few things in my already pretty positively leaning mindset.

When you join, you take a little quiz to rate your relative level of happiness. I started out at 75. Like I said, I’m rather skilled already at looking at silver linings. Then, you pick a track to join. The tracks focus on different aspects of how your mind works to engage in a happier way of thinking. Topics include ‘Coping Better With Stress’, ‘Appreciate What I Have’ and ‘Nurture My Body and Soul’. There are many others as well. Once you enter a track, there are tasks to complete over the course of a week. Some are simple little quizzes to take, some are soothing puzzles to do, and every one makes you stop and just THINK for a moment about things happening in your life. They mostly focus on small things, but a few get a bit bigger in scope, though nearly all take no more than a few minutes to document. You might need to read a set of instructions and ponder them for a day or two. That’s pretty cool though because over those days you cannot help but view the day’s events through the lens of the assignment.

Rather miraculously, this different perspective helped me out at work in a big way. I’ve had this ONE co-worker (not in my department) who is HE biggest thorn in my side. Now, my opinion of her has been validated frequently when other employees have experienced her frustrating way of communication (demanding!). She never makes an effort on her own to figure anything out, even when all the information is at her fingertips. Every month when I provide her a schedule for her department, the email barrage begins, I grit my teeth and at least a day and a half of pissy emails are exchanged until she is finally satisfied. This month, I just happened to have a task on my track regarding empathy & disagreement. It encouraged me to try to view a negative situation from an entirely different perspective - hers. I know, that’s basic right? We all KNOW we should put ourselves in other people’s shoes especially when mired in disagreement. But…it’s not so easy. The ego is strong and it is SO MUCH easier to get defensive and stand our ground and push back and be RIGHT because we know we ARE.

Hah :-)

I challenged myself to complete the empathy task and hey, whaddya know? Oh, she started off as usual, but rather than letting my blood pressure rise and letting her queries annoy me, I pretended I was in her role and feeling helpless about not quite understanding how I could complete my task without help and I imagined what she expected in return for a response. You know, the also classic “treat others as you would want to be treated” – another basic life lesson that is easily forgotten in our busy lives. It’s so much easier to toss off a quick response than to take an extra five minutes and craft a decently respectful and complete reply, especially when we have let ourselves get wound up.

Other tasks have really helped while 16 had his knee surgery and as I took on the final volunteer job. I’ve managed to juggle these things along with the new writing job and keep up with running and yes, relaxing, as necessary to recharge. I LOVE the Savor and Aspire skill tasks.

I also LOVE that we are strongly encouraged to support the other Happify members. Even if I don’t have time to check into my own tasks on a particular day, I just like browsing other member’s posts and sharing a smile or getting inspired by the ways they are bringing more joy into their lives.

I took an update quiz tonight (you do that every 2 weeks) and my score is now 83! Happify has so far been a surprisingly beneficial part of my days. I try to keep the S.T.A.G.Es in mind all the time, especially when faced with a less than positive task or person.

Savor, Thank, Aspire, Give, Empathize.

We can ALL benefit from bringing more of those qualities into our daily life.

**These are my own thoughts, going through my head tonight after I finished another complete track. Not an ad, no one at Happify asked me write this, this is all ME! Get it? Got it? GOOD!**

You really can’t roll out of bed and run 3 hours


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The only picture I took today during the run on the San Dieguito River trail. The depth perception is off, but the lighter rock up top is from a separate peak more in the distance. The sky really was that blue!

I love the rock formations on this trail (same one as last week) – we see the dark granite that I shared last week by the river, then the clay infused red rock and then the sandstone up at the top.

Today though, I proved to myself that you cannot sit on your ass for a week and then just run for 10+ miles and/or 3 hours. (Not that anyone didn’t already know that…hah!)

Renee had to run for 3:45 – I planned on hanging with her for 2 hours on the run out and then to turn back. Since we first start out going west for a 3.5 mile out and back and then head east, I figured it would take me another hour to jog/walk back to the car. If you are familiar with the area – I ended up running with her out to Hernandez Hideaway which was about 4.3 miles east of the cars. So we were a hair under the 8 mile mark out there. We took a porta potty and energy bean break and she continued east to loop around the shore of Lake Hodges some more. I headed back. And I lasted for about another 1.5 miles and then my left knee said “NO!” The t-band had been tightening up gradually and I would stretch it out every time we stepped aside to let a mountain biking group go by and again pretty extensively during our snack break, but it was done.

So then I started a slow, sad looking jog that I would maintain while footing was solid. As soon as the trail would get rocky, I would walk. I kept up this alternating jog/walk routing until I reached the damn. That’s when I found out that the worst thing for a tight t-band is a DOWN hill trail. Oh my GAWD did it hurt!! Walking, running, hobbling…didn’t matter. For the last 3 miles of the trail I considered it a bird hike :) I treasured level ground and even the uphills. And I utterly cursed those down hills – and there are a lot!

I laughed at the end because it showed I covered 12.16 miles at a 16:21 min avg mile pace. When I parted ways from Renee at the 8 mile mark, we’d been maintaining a shade over 13 min mile pace. I took those last four miles SLOW!

What’s my lesson? If you had no time to do a damn thing all week, don’t think you can run for that long! With daylight lasting longer, I really should be able to do a Wed or Thurs run after work and I really need to if I want to keep exploring these awesome trails.

This is what I get for a) writing again nearly every night (sold 7 posts this week!) b) catching up on cleaning my house c) spending all day Saturday weeding the front and back yards (still need to do the side and the hill) and d) laying on the sofa watching tv or reading (horrors!)

This is why I said 2013 is not my year to aim for long distance races. I know I don’t have consistent time to train. And that’s OK! Now I just have remind myself that long distance fun runs need to have some limitations as well!

 

I am SUCH an only child!


Why do I state this?

Because the best way for me to regain some semblance of sanity when I am feeling anxious over being in limbo..or stressed…or in any way out of sorts….the BEST thing I can do for myself is get as far away from people as possible.

It doesn’t have to be for long, but it needs to just BE.

So today since I had a mid-day appointment with the final exterminator, I decided I didn’t want the hassle of driving back and forth from work. So I took the day off.

I still got up at 6am and listened to the radio show I like.

But instead of going to work, I drove down to the local trail.

And I ran.

No music, no more radio show, just me, my breathing, my thoughts and the trail.

I initially thought I might run for 3 miles. But about 1 mile in I decided on 5. The temperature was perfect. I’d planned ahead and drank plenty of water and ate some energy beans for breakfast #1 so I knew I was prepared nutritionally to just go. So, I did.

I ran slow – 12 min miles. But I never stopped. Up and down one end of the trail and the other and part way back again to reach the 5 miles total almost exactly at the 60 minute mark.

And OH IT FELT SO GOOD!!!

My brain churned over and walked through and then let go of all the crap.

And my feet kept churning along too.

I genuinely smiled and said good morning to everyone I met on the trail (and for 8am on a Wednesday there was quite a lot of trail traffic!) I took note of every bird and lizard and rabbit that crossed my path. I inhaled as I passed the bales of hay – twice!

As much as I love running with my friends there are just days when, well, I NEED to run alone.

At the 5 mile mark I was feeling my left knee tighten at the t-band and it still does feel sore even after stretching and rolling. It’ll be fine. We have regular 8 mile Sunday morning runs starting this weekend and I wanted to be ready. After not running in 10 days and that last run being rather horrid, I really needed something before Sunday to know I could keep up.

After the run, I went up to Starbucks, ordered Breakfast #2 and then…I sat down in a big leather chair in the shop and just relaxed.

Sipped my gingerbread latte. Ate my breakfast sandwich. Scrolled through twitter on my phone. People watched.

Almost and hour…just sitting. And being.

And pardon my french, but damn that was so fucking amazing and necessary!!!

Limbo


I do not like limbo.

No, not the dance – I was actually once quite good at that :-)

No, I do not like being “stuck in limbo” as the expression goes.

It is, of course, the lack of control that is quite frustrating.

Before I launch into the complaints – one bit of very good news – 16′s concussion seems to have healed. It was almost like that visit to the neurologist after the MRI was the final corner. He started scoring much lower on his symptoms around the middle of last week and then he went in Saturday specifically to fill in a ’0′. Even though he probably wont play football – the team won Friday night but plays the #2 seed this week and chances of winning are rather low – he at least wants to get back to being able to list weights and run with the team after school and during PE so he will start the “gradual return to activity” process this week. Cognitively he has been 100% symptom free for a couple of weeks now and no further academic support has been needed at all.

Anyway…..

So the house needs to be tented for termites and we are in the process of getting bids. My neighbor doesn’t really care, but since I am borrowing money from the BF to get my side done, that means that he has an interest in which company we choose. Which is good, because he drives a hard bargain and will end up saving money all around for us. But, it’s also nerve wracking because it means more termite company visits and then coordination between all interested parties to choose who we go with and then when it is done.

This is all complicated because I have the cats. I need to find a place to go for 3 days and 2 nights (usually a Wed-Fri). It needs to either be a place where I can relax about leaving the cats for the day while I go to work, OR, it needs to be timed so that if I have to not go into work that it will be OK and that I should have internet access to potentially work from wherever we will be.

Even though I found a fairly close hotel that will allow the cats and is less than $100/night, I am not sure some dumb fool from the hotel wouldn’t go in the room even WITH a DO NOT ENTER order and then the cats would race out. Nor do I want to lock them in a bathroom if I have to leave. Chip is enough of a nutjob to stress himself right back into bladder problems again.

Then there is a GOOD complication, but a complication non the less. 27 got a temp job – yay! It is up near where I work (mostly yay!) BUT…the hours will most likely be really odd because it is a customer support job for a retail vendor that needs folks maning phones during the holiday rush order season (Nov-mid Jan). As an example his first day of training is actually an evening shift 5:30-9:30 on Thursday night this week. Until that is done, he wont know what hours/days he will be working. So neither of us can really go stay those two nights any place too FAR away since we need to share the car. 16 can go to his dad’s but it also means he cannot walk home those 3 days once school is out. He HAS to hang out on campus until his dad can pick him up.

So yeah, timing is going to be stressful and right now I just don’t know how it will all fall into place.

I mean, I know we will make it happen and it will work out, but right now I cannot SEE that for sure, so…limbo.

Same goes with my “female” problems. We know what it is (fibroids) and what to do (outpatient procedure) but I cannot schedule it right now until the termite thing is done. Plus, it will be another lost day at work AND I will need to arrange a driver which is probably easy enough actually once we know 27′s work schedule. If he cannot do it, I am sure that the girls will help out – BUT – limbo!

So, one week later there is still a feeling of apprehension/anticipation over things I cannot entirely control – sorta like the election last week :/

Oct 12 – Pardon my French, but I need this book


 

This went flying around on Facebook and what I want to know is – how do these things pop up JUST when I need them?

Because what had just happened when I logged in and saw this?

I had just realized that I didn’t pack a lunch and would have to spend unnecessary money at the cafeteria unless I was willing to drive home to get food. Which I wasn’t since I needed to leave early to get Son #1 to an appointment. Also? The selections on the menu were not spectacular. Chicken + Rice in a wild mushroom sauce (I hate mushrooms) or wheat pasta with veggies. Healthy yes, but appetizing? Tasty?No.

Then I kept getting interrupted while preparing a reconciliation. The interruptions were from someone who was waiting for the information FROM said reconciliation. Which I couldn’t complete. Because he kept bugging me! (of course, I could have ignored the emails for 30 minutes but….yeah…see that book title?)

Then when I finally finished it and went to post a $10 million entry, I borked it up. Had to back it out and repost. Double work. Yay!

That was all before noon.

So when I saw this cartoon I said “Oh, hell yes – THIS, right now!”

Someone commented that if this book existed it should be required reading in high school.

Truth – it would sure be a ton more useful than Gatsby ;-)

 

Scattered ramblings of a melted brain


 

It’s hot.

It’s been hot for two solid months.

It’s technically now Fall.

It’s still hot.

81 degrees in my house on 9/23 at 3pm with NO BREEZE coming in ANY open window.

That’s just too damn hot.

Due to the hot, I am immensely lazy.

I don’t want to run.

I don’t want to write.

I don’t want to work on anything at all.

I don’t want to cook.

I don’t want to think.

It’s too damn hot.

I want to nap.

I want to read twitter.

I want to read anything really.

I want to be on the sofa watching TV.

I’d like to do all of that without guilt, but I haven’t mastered that yet.

It’s too damn hot.

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16 had a friend from the football team over to hang out with us this weekend. You know, because another teenage body is what we needed in the already too damn hot house!

They did what teens do – ate and played video games all night. It would have been all day Saturday and all night, but he ended up having to work security for the pop warner group until after 6pm so they did see daylight and sunshine for a few hours.

The final tally on what they ate/drank from noon Saturday until noon Sunday?

  • 16 bottles of Dr Pepper
  • Two cheeseburgers and a bag of Ore Ida fries (made by me)
  • 8 donuts
  • 2 cartons of goldfish crackers
  • 4 popsicles
  • 2 burritos from Chipotle
  • 2 cans spaghettios
  • Random snacks at the pop warner game

And that’s just what I know about!

Why did I let him do that given his historical lack of motivation in school and such?

Well, because so far even with the hardest academic load he’s ever carried, he’s keeping up better than he usually does. Yes, he skipped an English essay already, but he made up for it with an extra credit assignment – voluntarily! He got a 77 on his first Calc AB test but he’s done all the homework and it turned out no one got higher than an 85. During the week he rarely has the chance to goof off on the Xbox, so an occasional weekend blowout is OK as long as schoolwork and laundry is done (which they were).

Also? It was too damn hot to do anything else!