Past lives

Finished tree in the daylight. Just to give the blog that festive, holiday look 🙂

So I visited a past life tonight. It was the annual Christmas on the Prado weekend. Well, it’s called December Nights now, but it will always be Christmas on the Prado to me!! Every year when I was with Erik we would go to this event. There is a Lucia procession with singing girls and boys, Swedish food (meatballs!) and crafts and the highlight – glogg! Glogg is a mulled, spiced wine. Properly spiked glogg should also have some vodka mixed in. Anyway, this was the beginning of our holiday routine each year and I always enjoyed it very much. The first year after we split, I dragged Marcus up there with me. I was determined to continue having it in my routine. Ah, not such a good idea really! It was strained and difficult and of course did not have the same feel to it. However, one of the swedish girls who was also split from one of the “guys group” boys wanted to go the following year and she and I made a date of it. That was a nice transition for me. We did that for a couple of years or so. Now she is remarried with two small children so we no longer go together. This year it fell on my weekend with Alex so I knew I would take him. Plus, I really wanted some meatballs and glogg! Alex was off with his dad running a booth for his Swedish school so I was on my own. I got to wander through a couple of the museums (Balboa Park opens everything for free this weekend) and soak in the decorations and music.
As I stood in the area fenced off for those over 21 to drink the glogg, I looked around and saw no one I knew! In past years, we would have known at least half the people in the drinking area :-> That is when I realized that it didn’t matter who I was there with. In fact, I was alone tonight and I enjoyed it very much. Even if I was still with that group of friends (all but the one girl really stayed with Erik in the divorce), we probably would not have been there together anymore. They all have small children now. Alex is older than all of them by at least 5 years. In fact, I saw some of the old gang, but mostly as they were leaving. Times change and life goes on.
I am a creature of habit and routine. For me, the divorce shaking all those routines, especially during the holidays was very hard. Not just Christmas on the Prado but also the party we would host every year. Erik still does that and at first I missed it terribly. Now, not so much! I have actually tried not to make any new routines, because I know how thrown off I would be if they were broken. We have the day itself with my parents and all my boys which is all that matters. Otherwise, I keep myself open every year to different events with different people. Last year it was going carolling with many of the families in the area. Actually, I might do that one again – it was pretty fun!