A little color and hope of spring for my friends stuck in the depths of winter.
Things I learned this week:
- Reading twitter is the 2011 version of “cleaning the oven”. I know, you are confused. See, back in the 80s when I was still in college a classmate and I came up with the phrase “I’d rather be cleaning the oven than studying” based on the fact that one night she actually DID clean her oven before starting to write a paper. It was the ULTIMATE tool of distraction/procrastination. Well, reading twitter is of course not such an undesirable task as oven cleaning but the beauty is that is is ALWAYS THERE. So, time to start taxes? Oooo – let me check twitter first! Deadline for a particularly mind numbing report update at work? Oh, a quick glance at my twit stream wont hurt first! Need to organize those old sports programs to get ready for possible sale? Well, gosh, it’s been a whole five minutes since I checked twitter! There must be over 50 new updates that I NEED to read first! If I really want to drag out a process, I actually click through just about every link that someone sends on twitter literally doubling the time I can spend procrastinating. It’s fabulous! **For the record, the work report got done, my taxes are 80% done and I did organize the programs – after I read every tweet of course**
- Watching an episode of Modern Family with your teenage son, in which the kids on the show freak out over walking in on their parents having sex? AWKWARD! Thankfully the only light on in the room was the glow from the tv so that he couldn’t see the shades of purple in my face.
- Forcing your kid(s) to scrub the microwave just *once* will teach them how to finally – FINALLY – use the damn microwave cover when they heat their food. Seriously. It works.
- Teenage boys truly can set records for being air heads. Case in point: Chip the cat was startled while eating this week and tipped over his food bowl sending dried food bits all over the rug near the computer desk area. I was in the middle of making dinner. The Boy laughed at the event and then proceeded – TWICE – to jump OVER the spilled food at one time commenting “geez, what a pain! I don’t want to step on them but they are everywhere!” I then heaved a sigh and rolled my eyes in a way that would making ANY teen envious and responded “Perhaps you could clean UP the spilled food?” The Boy’s response? “Oh, hadn’t thought of that” SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
- Those little black rolls of electric tape? Magic!
- Watching Tom Beiber-Brady get sacked on what seemed like every other play on Sunday? Made me smile each and every time. Apparently I am quite the revenge loving sports fan.
- I’m 46 – shit.
- But I still laugh at fart jokes (as I did earlier this week from a tweet someone sent) – does that EVER stop being funny?