Musings on love

On Sunday I had a great, long brunch with Jacqueline. We yapped about everything under sun as we always do. She said something though which really struck me. We were talking about love and she said that she hates the phrase “you complete me”. She doesn’t want someone who completes her – she IS complete. I love that!! YES! Too often women especially get into this frame of mind where they thing they NEED a man in order to feel whole. Of course we do NEED companionship, we are social creatures. But that is a different mindset than feeling somehow less of yourself or less of a person if you are unattached. Now, I will say that the longer couples are together, the more their lives and identities do blend (in a healthy union at least!) so the loss of one would certainly feel as if a part of you is ripped away. But I think it is important to *start* a partnership first with the knowledge that you are a whole person on your own. Again, a particular problem for women as the message they often get as little girls is that your Big Goal in life should be to have a husband who takes care of you. Pfffffffffffffft!

Another great discussion was on Dkos (yes, not nearly always only about politics!) when one of the truly brilliant writers posted a late night diary about a failed relationship from a few years ago. He talked of the passion and drama and intensity of the relationship, but then wrote that what caused its’ end was that they did not know how to bring each other peace. I like that too. I don’t often freak out about much, but when I am in need, SP can make me feel better right away. I hope I do the same for him! Well, he recently thanked me for it, so I guess I do. Sometimes though I know that I need to be more patient about his needs. He tends to be a little bit more (ahem) *dramatic* than me in situations. I typically tell him to quit wasting his energy obessing on every negative point. But I do listen to him – the first couple of times anyway – and try to get him to see that the worst case scenario is really not THAT bad and that the odds are quite high it wont happen. I do know that I dont make him more agitated or feel WORSE so I guess that means I calm him down even if I do get irritated 🙂

I supposed this is on my mind since I am missing him right now. This is the LONGEST we have ever been apart and the worst part is that we haven’t been able to talk even. I know for sure we have never gone so many days in a row without talking. I keep expecting the phone to ring and it would be him. Of course, he DID call tonight but my damn cell phone battery had died, I have NO car charger (fixing THAT tomorrow) and I was at the Padre game. Sigh. At least he left a message so I heard his voice.

Getting DS1s hair cut tomorrow! I will post a pic.