Keep the line moving people!!

More observations from the drop off line at SportsBoy’s elementary school.

It’s a simple concept – if people follow the rules, then about 10-12 (depending on size) cars can be dropping off kids at one time. This ensures that there is not a traffic jam on the 3 main neighborhood streets that lead into this end of the cul-de-sac school. Well, perhaps *not* such a simple concept after all.

It is week 3 of school and the patters are already set. I can predict which cars will pull in late. And that total is growing. Week 1 when the 8:00am bell rang, not a single car arrived after it. Everyone was arriving between 7:30-7:55. Week 2, oh, shift that up 5 minutes. Week 3 – the glut of cars began at 7:45 and lasted until 8:05. At least 20 pulled up after the 8:00 bell!

I seem to be the most assertive line volunteer. Also the only one who arrives anywhere near on time! On Tuesdays there are 2 other people with me. On Thursdays, just one. Since I do arrive early, I position myself at the front and wave my arm to the encourage the drivers to pull all the way forward. I also thank them for doing so when I go to help their kids out. And yet – EVERY TIME that I think we’ve done a good job and there are cars filling the front to the back and all three of us are helping kids out, I will notice that the *biggest* car, with the most amount of kids in it will be smack dab in the middle. Plugging up the whole damn line behind it. Grrrrrrrr…not the drivers fault of course, that was just where she landed, but damn it is aggravating!

Then there are the brain dead. The ones who just do NOT see all that empty space in front of them as they pull up. THOSE drivers will also inevitably have at least 5 kids + a barking dog in their mini van. Oh, and the kids will not have their backpacks with them. You will see what I am starting to call the SUV or mini van gymnastic event. Legs and arms flying, backpacks being tossed around, mom barking out orders and the dog hanging out the front passenger window barking and wagging it’s tail. Then mom will see a friend walking past – and start chatting!!! That was today’s bozo award winner. Naturally most everyone is quite patient with the routine, but this morning’s bozo irritated everyone. Except of course, the other mom who she was talking to – how those two did NOT figure out the jam they were causing I do not know!! Of course, they also had a very passive volunteer by them who did not ask them to move (I would have). And they are damn lucky that the principal was late today or I know they would have had an earful! A friend of mine (coach’s wife) was behind Ms Bozo and finally just pulled around her and we locked eyes and just shook our heads. Ah, blessed be those for whom the world stands still eh?

So for all my friends who have to drop off your kids in a school drop off line, some words of advice:

• Make sure little Jenny has her backpack at her feet, all openings zipped shut please. I’ve already done enough 22 page homework pick up for one year.
• Please give little Johnny a napkin to wipe off his face/hands from whatever it was he was eating in the car on the way to school. Particularly his hands. Please. I beg you.
• Train little Jenny on how to unlatch her car seat by herself. If she can’t, maybe that is a sign that you should park and walk in with her. Really.
• As little Johnny gets out of the car, a simple kiss in his general direction and an “I love you honey, have a good day” should suffice. Keeping your passenger window rolled down and refusing to move your vehicle until you have exchanged 15 ‘I love yous’ and watched the little guy nearly all the way to his classroom door is another sign that you should be parking and walking. Either that or you wont mind when Mrs Principal leans into your car and says “GO HOME!”
• On the flip side, if you have one of those automatic mini van doors that slides open and closed with the push of a button, please DO wait until you have come to a complete stop to open the door and also wait until all kids and backpacks have exited the car before you close it. I know how badly you want to get those kids out of your hair for those few hours, but let’s try to do that without any injuries, okay?
• If it is picture day (as it was today), please realize that efforts to smooth your kids hair and adjust their collars as they exit the car is a wasted effort. So is instructing them to fix said collars. I heard one mom say that and managed to stifle my guffaw. By the time they sit in front of the photographer, it is a guarantee that juice will be spilled on their outfit, their hair will be going in 55 different directions and there will be a booger hanging out of their nose. That is the charm of school pictures.

Moments that made me smile today:

• To the mom in the silver mini van this morning – yes, I saw that you were still in your pajamas.
• The good bye of the day goes to a 3rd grade girl who exited her car as I held the door open and said “Bye Papadoodle!” Dad got ten shades of red. So sweet.