A note to my child free friends

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Relax – this is not some “Breeder vs Child Free” contentious post 🙂

If anything, those who know me well know that I am often the furthest thing from a “breeder” or a (gasp) “mommy blogger” even though I do, by the way, have a couple of kids.

However, after reading a few notes I received about my Skins post last week I did want to try and articulate something to my friends who do not (for whatever reason or another) have children.

Guys – it REALLY is different on the other side of the fence.

Most likely if I did not have children I would absolutely have the same opinions as you do about censoring tv or internet access to kids & parents having their heads in the sand and being too overprotective & yadda yadda yadda. I would be as wrong as you are, but I’d feel the same way 🙂

Here’s the thing, as soon as you picture your own child in those situations, you change your mind. Because having a child means having a part of your body & soul walking around outside of you, apart from you physically and out of your control. Yet you do as much, if not more, to make sure nothing painful happens to them.

Let me give a more concrete example – recently Sports Boy has been joining me for my workouts.  It’s a circuit training class and we use different pieces of equipment and weights etc as we exercise. It is critical of course to follow the trainer’s instructions and focus on form so that you get the most out of the movements and don’t hurt yourself. When I am there by myself I totally focus internally on doing everything correctly and I never watch how other people in the class are doing. When SB is there, without even thinking I look during every station to make sure he is doing the exercise correctly. Yes, I know there is a licensed trainer there. Yes, I know he’s been coming with me off & on for 6 months now AND does even more aggressive weight training at school in football PE. Yet I absolutely cannot help but check to make sure he is following directions & not doing something that might hurt himself. It’s impossible for me NOT to do that because he is a part of me.

Does that make sense?

So there is just no way for me to NOT view many things through the eyes of a parent. Not an over protective one by any long shot, but just a normal parent looking out for her kids.

You’ll just have to trust me on this 🙂

 

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3 thoughts on “A note to my child free friends

  1. Anonymous

    A few weeks after my daughter was born I recall walking across a bridge spanning the Mississippi river with her nestled on my chest. I looked over the edge, saw the swirling water, and instantly new that if by some terrible accident she were to fall in I would leap after her without thinking with every intent to rescue her. My response was visceral, instant, and powerful, and I was surprised. I’d never felt that way before. But then again, I had never been a mother.

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  2. songbird

    I know exactly how you feel. Your kids can drive you absolutely crazy….but not one hair on their head may come to harm.

    My example: my girls are now ages 18 and 20, and each got her driver’s license at age 17 — the legal age in NY. they’ve been driving on their own for awhile now. but when Iget into the car I’m back to feeling like I need to teach them how to drive, need to watch out for all the lunatics on the road, etc.

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  3. That was the perfect example.
    And no matter how much you think you might know before you have children, you do not know until you have children.
    I include myself in that…when I was pregnant with my first, I really really thought I’d get a good night sleep again one day.
    Not to be, not to be.

    🙂

    Like

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