I cannot tell a lie


Here’s my problem: I would probably tell her yes! Really! I have some ridiculous, stubborn part of my brain that will not let me lie. Even when I *should*. Because of that I end up in some situations being rather short tempered and gruff with people who do NOT deserve that.

To Alto2 and Ramblingmom who simply asked me if I was feeling better on Sunday night: I’m sorry. I should not have snapped at you and I know you were simply concerned about me and I do, truly appreciate that.

The problem is, I could not bring myself to simply lie in that moment. To say “Yes, thank you for asking.”  I felt compelled to say no (which was the truth) and then I was primarily angry with myself at the whole situation and I mumbled that I didn’t want to talk about it. Ugh. Lovely. You see, it seems that my hormone headaches which used to come monthly are now on an every OTHER month cycle. That in itself is good of course. What was NOT so good was that October was the ON month and it hit while I was on the ferry ride in Seattle on Saturday. As usual I ate every pain medication I could find which would barely take the edge off, but after 24 hours I knew what it was and that it would NOT go away for a couple of days at least. And I got mad. And I fought internally with myself to do my best not to let what was reducing my own enjoyment of the weekend to spill over to my dear friends. It’s really not so bad. Generally I go to work and get through my day with it with no one ever knowing. It isn’t as horrid as a true migraine, but it is as persistent. But for all the walking around we were doing it certainly was challenging me. Now Squib2 and I are close enough that I knew she would understand so I groused to her a bit in our room. I felt bad enough Sunday morning that I had to go lay down after breakfast. I wanted to gather energy to go to the art museum. And that worked and I had one of the highlight moments of the weekend for me as Squib2, Alto2 and I meandered around the SAM and then had a lovely lunch in the face there. They then wanted to shop some more and I again decided it was best for me to lay down until it was time to go to dinner. Of course once the other members of our group who had done an underground tour heard that I was back in the hotel, they were concerned. When I made the decision that I could ignore the headache and enjoy dinner, I should have been prepared for the questions and had my little white lie ready. Sigh…I mean, in general it is GOOD to be 100% honest…but there are times when it is just *kinder* to provide some spin. Why does that seem so compulsively impossible for me?

4 thoughts on “I cannot tell a lie

Add yours

  1. It was difficult for you because…oh I don’t know… because you weren’t feeling good perhaps? I wouldn’t worry hun. We get it.

    You have one vote on your poll there…wonder how I voted?

    I have taught my son to “lie” in that regard because I tell him when people ask “How’s it going?” you need not tell them everything.

    Is that bad??

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  2. HEY — we were concerned about you cause we love you — and we love you enough that if you’re having a crappy day (for whatever reason — headaches, trouble at work, being ticked off at a sports team) and you snap it’s really not an issue.

    Bottom line — no offense taken. IF I knew then what I know now, I probably would have offered to buy you a chocolate martini (chocolate always helps take a bit of the “edge” off those kind of headaches for me)

    Like

  3. You should never worry about mincing words with me (of all people). I completely understood that you felt like crap. I hoped that the group understood the same about me that Friday afternoon. I just couldn’t function.

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