Foot in mouth disease, take two.

The newly minted teenager in the house (newly? He’s been 13 for 3 months now! Ah denial) has a habit of *declaring* things with all manner of certainty. Without, of course, any actual *thinking* in support of what flies out of his mouth. This usually ends up with me (no slouch at declaring things with certainty either!) questioning his declaration and then offering up a correction. When he protests – and he always does, you’d think he would learn – and we get down to the business of proving the declarations, it always ends the same way. He is *always* wrong 🙂 That doesn’t mean that I am always *right* because sometimes my declarations are off base too, but more often than not I AM right, but the track record is that he is ALWAYS wrong.

I give him credit though – he never stops trying!

Case in point – about two weeks ago we were driving home from football practice (sob!) so it was late and I was kinda feeling rushed to get home and get dinner served. There was a large, cream colored SUV in front of us with one of those window clings that is a stick figure outline of the family presumed to be inside the vehicle. You know the ones – 18 kids, 5 dogs, 3 cats etc etc? All external signs indicated this was a classic mom-mobile. Well, said vehicle was literally crawling, if not flat out simply rolling through an intersection when they light turned green. S-L-O-W. My annoyance was enough that I started in on a verbal routine that my son knew by heart as he chimed in with me “Hello! Right pedal! Try it! You’ll like it! It makes your car GO FORWARD!”  Then I *declared* that the person in front of me HAD to be on a cell phone to be that spaced out over the actual task of driving through an intersection. The teen then *declares* “No, I’m sure it’s an un-manned vehicle” (His dad’s oh so charming way of saying there’s a woman driving. Yes, old jokes never go away as he’s been using that line for 19 years!)  I looked at my son and said “Oh, really? Has to be a woman huh? Fine, we’ll see!”

Now, as I said, all outward signs were that this was a mom vehicle and I knew I was taking a chance on my reputation with this one, but, you see, I had faith that my son is Always Wrong 🙂

We pulled up alongside the SUV at the next intersection and just as SportsBoy says “See? It’s a girl…” A very large, bald man TALKING ON A CELL PHONE comes into view!!!!!!!


(thank you oh Goddesses for backing me up on that one!)

To give the boy further credit though, while chomping on his foot, he did nearly bust a gut laughing along with me.




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