May 10th – Have you ever tried to give a cat medicine?

The follow up to the end of last week when we had to take in the piddle puddle kitty is that medically – he was fine. All tests were clear and the replacement and re-arrangement of bathroom facilities seemed to stop the out of litter box puddle issues. Of course, the vet also prescribed a kidney & bladder friendly food as well as a low grade pain med JUST IN CASE he was having any residual discomfort from something in the past. She also said that the pain med might “relax” him enough to calm down his anxieties. Yes, the cat had no *physical* issues – they are mental. Lovely. All that $$ to find out he just needed a session on the couch with a kitty shrink. Hmmph!

But then…well…have you ever tried to give a cat a pill?

I’m pretty sure scaling Mt Everest is easier.

I KNOW that getting my 15 year old to study is easier.

Clearly, getting someone how HATED running as I did, to actually start loving it – loving it enough that when I got home tonight all I could think about having not run since Tuesday AM was that I HAD to run tonight (I did).

Point is…..

Cats don’t like medicine. And? They are unbelievably stubborn about that fact.

Encase it in a “pill snack” or something like that which any old DOG will gladly chomp on? Nice try. Don’t you know cats are smarter than dogs? At least about important things like medicine?

OK, so – how about crumbling the pill into a powder and dissolving it in tuna water? You know – their most favorite treat of all time? Tuna! I mean, that stuff has such a strong scent there is NO WAY they will know the pill is in there, right? RIGHT?

Ever seen a cat turn up its nose at tuna? No? Try dissolving a pill it in!!!!!!

Fine – you wanna play tough cat? Then I’ll hold you down and shove it in your mouth! The one that you suddenly WONT OPEN! Dear lord! Cats can clamp their mouths shut tighter than Fort fucking Knox! And if your finger happens to be in the way when they clamp? All the better because then they have the satisfaction of biting the hand that is torturing them!!

Somehow if you do GET the pill in the mouth, what happens? Hack ptoui!! Spits it right back out.

So, you shove it FURTHER BACK. There you damn cat, what do you think of that.

The cat stomps off with it’s tongue doing the “get it off, get it off” gagging motion. Up the stairs, perhaps even under the bed and about 5 minutes later you hear it. *HORK* *HORK* *Blearrrrgh*

Yellow barf, complete with little white pill in the middle, on your carpet.

FINE!

NEVERMIND! He doesn’t really NEED the pain meds and it’s not worth the stress on any of us to keep trying. He’s using the litter boxes and seems fine so just let it be.

You give up for two days and then….today….shit…as in…it looks like all the stress and the new food has made him constipated. 26 called to report he was licking his butt (sorry) and clearly miserable in the litter box all day trying to..you know…get something loose. So I call the vet and request a stool softener. Liquid please! No damn pills!!

Pick up the liquid – a nice thick orange goo – I pretty much sit on him and hold his paws down while 26 shoots as much of the liquid as he can down the back of the cat’s throat. Some of it actually seems to go down as I hold him in place and hold his mouth shut forcing him to swallow. Because not only can they clamp their mouths shut, I swear they can close their throats too.

Of he goes and we are happy that we got 1 ml in him.

I sit down to watch TV.

30 mins later I go up to my room to use the bathroom and…oh look…barf. On the carpet.

FUCK!!

So the cat sulks upstairs, licking his ass and clearly miserable after having barfed up the medicine that could make him better. Lovely.

I now pray that, like the last time, the constipation works it way out on it’s own. I ask for suggestions from my fellow cat owners on how to keep the cat regular.

Lots of great suggestions like olive oil on his food, Mirolax in a spoon of yogurt, wet food, and other things. All of which sound good in theory, but given that this cat can detect medicine in tuna….what do you think the odds are of success?

Sigh…cats…..

So yeah, I ran. Felt much stronger than Tuesday morning but also cut it off at 2.6 miles after 3 hills. Plus, I was hungry 🙂

The boy got a golden ticket in for the practice AP History test on Sat morning. Guess how happy he is about that?

Yep – ’bout as happy as Chip is to take medicine.