Filling spaces

I was catching up with some friends at a dinner a couple of weeks ago and I was asked a question that made me pause for a concrete answer:

“So what are you doing with all your free time now that you are not volunteering – other than reading books again?”

Well…..

It’s not that I am *doing* all that much more with my time really.

I mean, it’s not like we were talking about days upon days of suddenly free time.

I still work full time.

I still have a house to pay for and manage and keep up.

I still have two boys.

The oldest needs me to be his transportation to/from the necessary classes to re-obtain his drivers license legally and to be his sounding board as he navigates the process of becoming completely independent after his many setbacks.

The youngest still needs me for the usual things – homework monitor, cook, transportation, laundry etc.

I still have two cats who like a clean litter box & food and water and brushing and nails clipped and necks scratched.

I still have this blog – and another one that I started last year while still volunteering.

So other than reading a book a week, what am I *doing* with all that time?

It was a question that made me wonder – should I be *doing* more?

Why must we always be *doing* something?

No, I have not constructively replaced those tasks with anything fabulous I suppose.

It’s more like I am able to pay closer attention to what was on my plate before too.

Such as my yard which requires some clean up and manual watering now and then. There’s the bird feeder I put up which needs re-filling and cleaning.

I can get into a regular schedule of cleaning, meal planning, grocery shopping to keep up with things a little better so that the thought of someone coming over for dinner doesn’t seem like a major chore requiring hours of preparation.

There’s the same pile of magazines which no longer pile up since I can pretty much read them as they arrive.

I feel like I get to just BE without as much clutter in my brain. Don’t get me wrong, you can see from that above list that there’s still plenty to clutter it. There’s just a couple less items which has allowed the others to spread out a bit. Stretch their legs. Allowed a stray thought to become an idea to become reality like those statis flowers poking through the spaces in the geranium.

The reality of reading a book.

Of watching a Padres game pitch to pitch while talking online with my fellow Padres fans.

Of playing a board game with Sportsboy after dinner.

Of the DVR list being empty by Sunday night each week.

Of knowing the three of us can relax together and watch the Season 2 premier of Glee next week.

Spaces of time & a clearer mind that get filled, not necessarily with *doing* big and wonderful things, but just with living.

It make not seem exciting in the telling, but I think it is just fine, thanks for asking.