Dear Martha

I’m feeling a lack of inspiration…or..*motivation*…when it comes to the blog. I think I need to switch things up for a bit.

A few of the sites that I follow pretty much use their blog as an online journal. They write in what feels like a stream of consciousness style and while I’ve thoroughly loved reading it – I’ve also been totally unable to DO that.

Perhaps it’s because I never was a diary gal?  I knew a few people who were, and I have a vague memory of trying to keep a journal once or twice but never being able to stick with it.

Maybe I need to address it to a name vs a having the pressure of “diary writing”? Fine. The first name that popped into my head was Martha. So that’s what you get today.

Dear Martha,

So – life is cool right now. 26 is doing great. His part time job he landed at the end of December has turned into nearly always full time and this past week even rolled into some pretty significant overtime. It’s great that he now has some money to pay his bills (translation = I don’t have to! Yay!), but may I bitch for one teensy moment? He did get a job that is technically walking distance from home, though it’s not a simple 5 minute walk. Consequently I am still often giving him rides. This morning that means dropping him off at 7am, coming home to eat breakfast and then dropping 15 off at school before heading on to work. When he gets off at 3 he’s on his own to get home. On the weekends though, he works 3-11pm. Yup, that’s on me OR, I ignore his lack of a driver’s license and let him take the car. What this translates to is me no longer being 100% in control of my comings and goings. I always have to account for his work shifts. It’s wearing me down a bit I must confess. And yet – he has really really settled down emotionally and mentally since getting this job. The highs and lows are no longer to an extreme – I think he’s just too darn tired to allow himself to go through them! Plus, he is more self aware of his moods now and I can tell he learning how to moderate them more effectively on his own. IOW – he’s growing up! I suppose most moms would get all sentimental about that. Frankly, I’m more of the “Its about damn time!” mentality. But yeah, it’s awesome to see.

In two weeks I take both 26 and 15 to the DMV to start the license getting process. 15 will finish his online driver’s ed course this week and should get his learner’s permit. 26 has finished more than 85% of his DUI classes and can reapply for his full license again. Oh joy – I get to worry about not one, but TWO of them driving around! OTOH – if he can get a car, that would mean my issues with driving 26 to work will be removed so…yay! Of course, 15 is also pushing for a motorcycle license. Oh fuck NO! Hell no. Not a chance. My problem is that his dad is on his side on that one. WTF? Sigh…I’m going to try and argue for 18 at LEAST until he starts that dangerous game.

Parenting boys is not for the feint of heart, I tell ya.

Running is going well. Put in about 15 miles last week. Two 45 min runs and one 90 min run. The 90 mins on Sunday was pretty cool since it was on a new trail and one that I used to go on for birding over two decades ago. Lordy – can you imagine telling the 1992 version of me that I would be RUNNING that whole trail in 20 years? Pretty sure my reaction would have been to have you checked into a mental ward. But no – there I was running San Elijo lagoon from east to west and back again. 7 miles. It wasn’t easy by a long shot though. Anything after 5 always pushes me to some painful places. It’s good to do, but I really am convinced that the 5k distance is my sweet spot.

Work is work….keeps me going though I really hope they find a way to increase my pay grade this year. 2 years in a row with no increase is not so awesome when the cost of living doesn’t stay flat. In my quest to supplement that flat income I’ve been trying all sorts of things that – like the whole running thing – I never would have imagined before. But – those things really pique my interest and I see potential so I keep plugging away with web writing and researching and hoping something works out more than just the Adsense revenue and a couple of book sales.

And see…I’m already bored with myself!

I do better when I’m bitching about other people and things ;->

Life = it is what it is.