Etiquette help please!


hints-on-etiquette

It’s kind of funny because there is this name meme going around on Face book today and right after I finish it, this scenario played out in my life again. Here’s the situation – everyone at this point knows that my first name is Christina. I’m old enough now that I don’t have people automatically trying to shorten it. What IS the problem is that I am often called Christine.Ā  Explain to me though, why *I* am the one who feels awkward when I have to correct their mistake? It feels rude to do that! Is it just me being silly feeling this way?Ā  Then there are some who cannot seem to get it even after I correct them. Which would not matter, but if it is someone who I see a lot and who uses the wrong name in front of others – causing the wrong version to ‘spread’ – then I *really* have to say something, but now it is to multiple people!! Aaack!

Even worse than those in person ones though, are the emailed ones. Which frankly piss me off more becuase – hello! – you had to see the proper spelling when you sent the email šŸ˜‰ Even worse is when they reply back *again* even after seeing your signature line on your email with your name spelled out yet again and they mess it up AGAIN! And when hose emails have some cc’s on them? Yep – the virus spreads. Argh! So I finally had to zip a private email to the perpeptrator with a little – “fyi – it’s ChristinA” Ugh. Then I feel like a boob again..but it’s not ME being a boob!

So dear peeps – what say you? Am I just being silly feeling awkward dealing with this? What’s the proper thing to do? if you’ve been corrected, do you feel like the person correcting you was wrong to do that or was pushy or picky or???Ā  Do I just need a stiff drink? šŸ˜‰

19 thoughts on “Etiquette help please!

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  1. I’m interested in this one. For the first half of the school year KayTar’s teacher misspelled her name, I finally got up the nerve to correct her (even though we had emailed countless times and I knew she had to have seen the spelling difference), then the teacher left and we got a new one. Yesterday she came home wearing a labeled diaper with a misspelled name again. ACK!

    I’m constantly being called “Kayla” I usually let it slide. LOL.

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  2. It’s RUDE to use the wrong name. Now I’m fairly certain that I might have typed a name wrong here and there, but USUALLY is someone bothers to point out the mistake I try not to repeat the same mistakes (I’m creative enough to come up with NEW mistakes — why keep repeating the same ones — it gets boring).

    Now — it might be that some folks have trouble hearing or spelling or have learning disabilities — but if people are just plain too rude or too busy — that’s their problem — not yours.

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  3. Dear Krysteena, (i just tweeted this 2U!) I normally will say or type the wrongdoer’s name WRONG back to them and follow their lead. If it makes any impact on them, and they correct me back, I’ll let them know how they should pronounce mine (and I get alllllll kinds of mispronciations with mine: my least favorite is “Illyana”). If they don’t notice, I figure it’s not something they ever will notice and move on. You can only help those who are teachable.

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  4. People pronounce my name wrong ALL THE TIME! It frustrates the hell out of me, so I understand your angst! If it’s somebody I’m going to see again, I always correct them. Particularly if it’s someone who’s going to be announcing my name prior to a performance! And for those that learn to say my name, quite a few spell it incorrectly. Sometimes as Simon, sometimes Simmonne or similar, or even sometimes Summon. Hello?! Anyway – I always correct their mistakes, even if they’ve made the same mistake a lot! Frustrating? Yes!!!

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  5. I don’t think it’s silly at all to expect people to make an effort to get your name right. I have that problem (admittedly of my own making because I *choose* to spell Sande this way) on a regular basis. I do think it’s rude for people who one deals with regularly to not try to get your name right, with allowances for learning disabililties and such. I’ve had a few people not understand why it bugs me, because *they’re* not bothered when someone gets *their* name wrong.

    My health insurer uses a robo-call system to issue appointment reminders, and for some strange reason they pronounce my name “sand” and it drives me nuts. I’ve called, and they don’t seem to know how to get it corrected.

    It also bothered me to have co-workers misspell my name, especially when, as you say, it was on the email I sent in the first place, and it’s in big letters on my office doors, too. I’m more forgiving with passing relationships: I don’t worry about it if, say, the car repair guy can’t spell it right, ’cause I don’t see him all that often. But when co-workers sent me emails that started ‘Hi, Sandy’ I usually responded with ‘Who’s Sandy?”

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  6. I would correct it every time, especially if they are spreading it to others. This happens to me, often.

    I once went for four years, from 9th grade til after graduation, allowing a teacher to call me by the wrong name. He kept calling me CorINa instead of CorEEna. It’s spelled CORINA but pronounced CorEEna. The first time he said it wrong, he had just told the class that he was very good at pronouncing Spanish names and he would not make a single mistake. Two seconds later, he screwed mine up. I didn’t have the heart to correct him in front of the whole class and each time he said it, it got harder to tell him he was saying it wrong. So, for four years I took it. He was one of my favorite teachers, too. I’m actually still in touch with him even though I graduated in 1974!

    Now I do correct people, although it is difficult for me to correct them. But I do.

    And Christina is another one of those names. My daughter is Cristina so I do understand. In fact, often people will call her Corina and me Cristina, but they say Christine. So yeah, I get it!

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  7. Yes, you need a stiff drink, and yes, I understand your frustration. You’re not the asshole, they are! And you were probably pushed over the edge by a senile old woman who accidentally confused you with her daughter’s elementary school best friend!

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  8. From an etiquette perspective, it is quite alright to politely correct a person if they say your name wrong. For instance you can say, “I thought you might like to know my name is Christina not Christine.” The key is to mention it politely. Good luck!

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  9. My last name has FIVE little letters in it, and do you think people can spell it right? Hardly ever. Pronounce it? Usually wrong. I always correct them. LOL
    Seriously. I do.
    On the other hand, I have a son named Christopher, and a friend of mine with a son his age, who has known him since he was 1 and who has seen his name written countless times, always spells “Chris” as “Cris.” I have never corrected her. I guess it just seems so idiotic to spell it that way that it seems like wasted effort to try to correct her. Not that she’s an idiot. Just WHO SPELLS IT CRIS?????
    And my mother? Her name is Annamaria. But most people call her Anna Marie. Or Anna. Or Ann Marie. She hates it, but I think she always just played along while muttering under her breath.
    Good luck with that Cristeenah šŸ˜‰

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  10. No, no it’s not rude for you to correct them. It’s rude if they don’t take that correction to hart. My youngest daughters name is Kristine and we have people trying to change her name all the time. We politely correct them and tell them If she chooses to go by a different version when she gets older that is fine but right now she likes her full name. Our last name gets screwed up all the time as well. It is funny how people react when you correct them.

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  11. It is not rude at all. I have a different name and I am always correcting people. I am so sensitive to people’s names and getting them correct, when I first met my husband who has a name that a lot of people shorten one of the first questions I asked him was what does he go by and what did he want me to call him.

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  12. I think you should correct them and not feel badly about it though I agree it is awkward.

    Here are my 3 quick stories. My name is Leigh pronounced Lee. I am coonstantly called “lay” HATE THAT! My daughter is named Jamie – people constantly spell her name Jaime. And last, I have a friend named Ligia. The g is silent and so it is pronounced “leeheea” We have a mutual friend who for years referred to her as “leegeea.” We would have a conversation about her in which I would say her name correctly, our friend would then say it incorrectly in the next sentence. I found it amusing in a trainwrecky kind of way. I know we were both thinking the other one was saying it wrong. Eventually, she started saying it correctly. I think Ligia’s husband finally set her straight.

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  13. I think everyone has the right to ask that people call them what they asked to be called. You know my name and my life long struggle is that people combine the nice alliterative first and last name and call me Kristin! I always correct them right off the bat – nicely but insistently.

    Having kept my own last name while married can be a challenge too. I can understand why kids mistakenly call me by my kids’ last name and let it go (while having full appreciation for those adults who insist their kids call me Ms. C….) but adults, I’m not so understanding. I have never been Mrs. Husband’s Last Name. That’s my MIL. I’m not one thing at work and another at home. There’s no confusion at all. I’ve been the same name since I was born. Even my 90 year old grandfather eventually caught on (maybe it helped that it was his last name I was perpetuating!) But some people just can’t seem to get it that I’m not Mrs. Husband’s Last Name! Even though I’ve been married almost 20 years!

    So after a while, it does become rude because it’s like they don’t care enough about you to remember something that is so fundamental to who you are.

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  14. I correct about 75% of the time. What kills me are the people who have known me for years and who still pronounce my name the wrong way. Grrrr….

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  15. I googled this because it drives me insane and I wanted feedback on the topic. My name is Jakquelyn and people spell it wrong, but ok it is difficult. So I go by Jakki, people spell THAT wrong too! I get Jaki, Jacque, Jackie and everything else. I constantly correct people and they still spell it wrong even in the email! After correcting someone once I feel like a jerk for doing it again. Plus these are people I have worked with for years.

    I also had the idea of purposely spelling THEIR names wrong, but at work it seems unprofessional. UGH!

    It is very annoying and I TOTALLY feel you, you are not being silly.

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  16. I totally feel your pain. My name is Mickey and I am constantly having to correct (even family).
    But…How many times should i have to do this?

    I’m constantly being referred to as Michael or Mike, or Mikey (which makes me laugh). It REALLY pisses me off.

    When I was younger, I would have preferred a name like Mike. You don’t understand the kinda abuse a kid gets when his name is Mickey.

    Now, as an adult…I love my name, and proud of it. It’s so frustrating when I have to constantly correct the same people that my name is MICKEY!!!!

    I want to tattoo it on their foreheads…UGH!!!!

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  17. researched it cause i wanted to know what other people did when this happened.

    When it happens to me, I just let it go.

    A teacher of mine who was, obviously, in-charge of class-listings and activities for the one year we were together always misspells my name as “Rhianna” We’ve been friends for a few years but she still doesn’t get it right.

    And since I am not the only person who is phonetically “Rianna” in the batch a bunch of other school-mates and teachers always get it wrong too. As in “Riana”, “Ryanna”, Rihanna”(as in, “You look so dumb right now, -ella, -ella, -ella”)

    I think you can’t really tell what a person’s thinking and how they’re lives are going so it might just make whatever their situation is (assuming they have one, and they probably do) worse. They don’t really need their mistakes for such a trivial thing to be pointed out like that. They probably know how rude it is anyway. And if it happened to me it would be an awkward moment for the both of us so I think we should just wait for the misspeller/mispronouncer to find out on his/her own so we could laugh about it later on.

    At least I think so.

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